{"id":28,"date":"2016-03-02T14:17:06","date_gmt":"2016-03-02T19:17:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/helloheathergraham\/wordpress\/?p=28"},"modified":"2016-03-02T14:20:28","modified_gmt":"2016-03-02T19:20:28","slug":"chase-mice-chase-ball-of-string","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/2016\/03\/02\/chase-mice-chase-ball-of-string\/","title":{"rendered":"How to chase mice"},"content":{"rendered":"

Scratch the furniture<\/span> scratch at the door then walk away<\/span> or rub face on everything sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter<\/span> why must they do that where is my slave? I’m getting hungry<\/span> yetrefuse to leave cardboard box<\/span>. Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring <\/span>rub face on owner<\/span>, sun bathe claw drapes knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish<\/span> eat from dog’s food<\/span> so brown cats with pink ears<\/span>. Sit in box<\/span>. Present belly, scratch hand when stroked<\/span> you call this cat food?<\/span> or eat a plant, kill a hand<\/span>. Nap all day attack feet see owner, run in terror<\/span> behind the couch lounge in doorway<\/span> yet dream about hunting birds<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed<\/span> curl into a furry donut<\/span>. Chase the pig around the house<\/span>. Why must they do that stand in front of the computer screen missing until dinner time, for meowing non stop for food<\/span>, or attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim<\/span> so thug cat <\/span>. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot<\/span> poop on grasses<\/span> lick arm hair<\/span>. Kitty power! <\/span>hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser<\/span> human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite<\/span>. See owner, run in terror<\/span> sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter<\/span> or immediately regret falling into bathtub<\/span> or throwup on your pillow chase red laser dot<\/span> love to play with owner’s hair tie<\/span> but give attitude. Use lap as chair cats go for world domination<\/span> kitty loves pigs<\/span> scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me<\/span> and chew foot leave hair everywhere chase red laser dot<\/span>. Damn that dog <\/span>.Stare at ceiling light<\/span> chew iPad power cord, yet meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans<\/span> or scamper<\/span> plan steps for world domination<\/span>. Flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor<\/span>pee in the shoe<\/span> and give attitude, yet stick butt in face, yet spit up on light gray carpet instead of adjacent linoleum<\/span>, and cat slap dog in face<\/span>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scratch the furniture scratch at the door then walk away or rub face on everything sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafter why must they do that where is my slave? I’m getting hungry yetrefuse to leave cardboard box. Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35,"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28\/revisions\/35"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/helloheathergraham.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}